FFishy fishy ffish

... I always smile at that movie catchphrase!... Recently we inherited a Goldfish from my sister, because he had eaten a hole in her other 'more favoured' fish; and he .. well he had died as a result. So all packaged up with feed, a bowl, and some plants - a goldfish meets his new mummy and daddy, and toddlder.

A little trip to the fish supply shop to help build the momentum of a new fantastic pet, saw us decked out with new pebbles for the bottom of the tank and a couple bottles of fandangle chemicals or salts or whatever, which is apparently what goldfish prefer... But while stockpiling the goodies into the basket, we spy the big Goldfish tank and stop to think that if we are buying all this other stuff anyway - we may as well buy our first inherited fishy a playmate to keep him company. The pet shop owner reaches in and picks the fish from the tank, not the fish I would have picked - but I kept thinking 'they are so small - are they worth such a fuss!?"

Two beautiful goldfish swimming in our tank,
one got grumpy and ate the other ones crank... shit joke.
At first I thought Sticks (one was Sticks and one was Fingers - as in Fish Fingers and Fish Sticks) was just waiting diligently uptairs for the feed to come in. Then I thought he might have been having a nap before dinner - but upon some rapid finger tapping and some "ffishy fishy fish" tunes, I sadly realised Sticks was probably not just faking it for some attention. Crap. Now I had a situation on my hands as my toddler had noticed my vigorous attention at the tank. "Whats happened mummy"!!???

"... umm Sticks has died", sounding folorn yet trying to keep it upbeat. Like when Abba try and sing a ballad. But still not a lot of response from my toddler and I wonder just how much I should push the message of death and finality before trying to convince her that fish and chips is still a tasty Friday night option. In the end I asked my beautiful husband to use the fish n chip scoop to rescue Sticks from the tank in time for a fitting burial. Fingers was looking a little too hungry for my liking. Little fishy Sticks was now encased in an empty matchbox in my fridge ready for the burial the next day.

I thought my toddler might have wanted to 'send him off' or something, but appparently with every new dawn comes a new adventure and there has been no mention or recollection of that once-upon-a-time fish "Sticks' swimming around our tank. Well Sticks certainly got his comeupunce - he ate my sisters fish, got moved across town to my house and inherited a new flat mate - who may or may not have led to his demise. Needless to say fish "fingers' is now a solitary figure and will remain so for some time. At least until I get around to disposing of the dead fish in the matchbox sitting in my fridge. Seems my toddler didn't remember at all... small miracles!

No means No

I am a big believer in the saying "No means No". However, recently I have been a little disheartened by the abuse of the word, often hearing it bandied about like hugs at a politicians pre-election campaign. The word itself is quite powerful. Just two letters and one syllable, no preamble - only a direct no nonsense message. Or so I thought...

Most toddlers go through the "Why?" stage, which I was fully prepared for being a think on my feet kinda gal. But nothing could have prepared me for the "No" stage! Blatant, defiant and antagonistic; I have heard this word in all its tones and this is usually before morning tea!

It is very frustrating until I started to think about the word in a different light. No longer does "No mean No". In my house, the word "No" is simply punctuation.

These boots were made for walking

I have a beautiful toddler, who in personality is very similar to me. I love her so much, but every so often - and mainly because we are so similar, we butt heads. I decided it would be a good idea to spend some mummy/daughter time, with my toddler... alone... just the two of us... to help combat our headbuttedness.

With the constant question asking and whiny voices, who couldn't think of a more enjoyable day out than going shopping together? Besides, if the sales people really started to shit me - I could always just set my toddler onto them. I'm pretty sure sales people and toddlers are one and the same, I say again - question asking and whiny voices.

Remember when you would get frocked up for a big night out - piecing together an outfit that made you feel omnipotent? This was me, getting ready to go into combat for the afternoon at the shops with my toddler. I pulled together the very fashionable skinny leg jeans, the black (dontcha be messin wit yo mumma) knit top, and a pair of big black high heeled boots! I was ready.

The first ten minutes shopping were terrific, but pretty soon I realised a toddlers will is stronger than my own. When a toddler doesn't want to shop - its not going to happen. By the time we made it back to the carpark, kicking and screaming - that was me, not her - everyones' patience was done for. In that brief second between unlocking the car door and packing my toddler into her seat, she had run off back through the carpark screaming at the top of her lungs!!

It was then that I realised. "It is bloody near impossible to run in high heeled boots"! I may have been dressed for combat, but my boots were made for walking... not chasing!!

Long time listener, first time caller...

I have been a fan of blogs for some time now and never considered that it may be something that I might actually do myself! You know when you hear people say "I can't believe it happened to me!", well, its kinda like that - but with less money from the lotto winnings...

On my final visit to my obstetrician for the birth of my second (and final) daughter, it occured to me that I should have kept a blog during my second pregnancy. That way I have a permanent reminder of how crap it was if I ever relapse and begin to ponder a third addition - usually during a half lucid and champagne induced lovey dovey moment.

So I was sitting in the waiting room, wishing for the onset of pre-eclampsia just so I could get induced and get the whole pregnancy thing done for, when I realised just how much I have got to say! With one toddler already at home and a newborn on its way - it didn't look like anyone there was going to listen, so here we are!